josiahd:

toopunktofuck:

screamingdustspecks:

toopunktofuck:

pro tip: going through therapy can be an exhausting, draining process, especially if you need to work through trauma

so aside from being expensive if you don’t have excellent health insurance or full coverage from medicaid or charity care,

some people don’t have the mental strength at the moment to work through situations in their past that were extremely traumatic (wow who would have thought)

some people are in abusive situations where it is unsafe for them to seek help

if someone, for whatever reason, tells you that they are not able to get therapy after you suggest it, it’s usually a pretty good reason, and you should drop the issue.

Also some people have had bad experiences with therapy that make them unable to trust therapists or seek help from them.

very important addition!

And also, there are other ways of working through things besides going to therapy. People really need to stop conflating the two.

Yes, this.

Especially because someone believing that they can’t work things out on their own can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, and one that can leave that person in some serious trouble if they can’t access therapy for whatever reason, or if therapy turns out not to be useful to them.

catalyse:

To people who believe long skirts/concealing clothes/burqas restricts and oppresses a woman’s sexuality: I can enjoy my body without you enjoying my body.

theboyprincessdiaries:

adelenedawner replied to your post: plus like okay dude my dad is going to be here…

Probably not *super* helpful, but I could send you a few of my more masculine perfume samples?

omfg it would make my life to get shit in the mail if you don’t mind giving them away / making the effort to mail them

:D  <3333333333333

That is pretty definitely a thing I can do. ^^

Do you have any idea of what kinds of smells you like? Or, if you’ve been following my posts on that, is there anything that’s caught your eye? (Frost is spoken for, 13 Hours isn’t a sample size, and the Delightful Rot ones leak - I can probably get replacement caps if there’s any of those you really want, but maybe not soon enough to be useful. Also anything rated a 4 I intend to keep the sample of - 3.5 and below I’m not worried about and 5 I’ll be ordering a bottle soon enough anyway.)

In the vial: *sniff* what? *sniff sniff* …… *checks notes* Okay. I was skeptical of the idea that perfumes ‘settle’ for a while after being shipped, but this seems to be proof of that. I originally had it down as berries and a bit of musk, but the berries have faded and the musk is much stronger. I’m not so sure I’m going to like this.

On, wet: Okay, there’s the berries - overripe, though, and that musk note isn’t doing them any favors. There’s also a bit of salty/ocean smell going on here, which doesn’t blend so well.

Dry: The berries faded to the background, and this clicked over from ‘clashing mess’ to ‘sensible, if odd, scent’ - musk and fur supported by a hint of berries works a lot better than berries and musk competing for dominance.

Once it sorts itself out, this perfume evokes ‘obviously good-natured but physically intimidating biker dude type person’, for me, which is something I prefer to express in other ways (and generally pull off almost too well, all things considered). Worth keeping around for those rare times when I need to add a bit more of that to an outfit, though - maybe play with layering it with something primarily leather-based. 3.5/5.

marcovicci:

sendificator:

im not “sex-positive” because sex is not inherently positive and it is okay to not want to have sex ever and it doesnt mean there is something wrong with you 

i’m confused because i thought the phrase “sex-positive” was meant to mean “positive towards the individual ways everyone approaches sex”

Sex-positive asexuals are a thing, and not the same thing as asexuals who have sex (though obviously there’s some overlap), so, yes.

Squeak is apparently of the opinion that I smell amazing. (Wearing Willow, still.)

josiahd:

Also, I think that while asexual issues are real, they’re also fairly different from the issues that come up for people whose sexual orientation leads them to same-sex coupledom. 

There’s enough things that are the same that it’s still pretty important that we be allowed access to those spaces, though, as well as having our own.

We have about the same amount in common with gay people as straight trans people do with cis gay people, I think.

josiahd:

fandom-sandwich:

fudgeflies:

if i was harry, i would have stuck a letter down the front of my pants and ran out on the front lawn bc

1. the dursleys aren’t gonna chase me and cause a scene, it’d upset their pristine reputation
2. if they DID chase me out, they’d have to put their hand down my pants to get to the letter and i’d just start screaming STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER and fuck up their repuation for real

you would kill voldemort in first year at that rate

Except that the Dursleys had near total power over him and that would have put him into a lot of danger, and he was a scared kid without any allies he knew about.

I mean, he was like *11* in the first book and he’d grown up isolated and abused while everyone he knew watched and did nothing to protect him.

Not to mention he had no way of knowing if the letter was real. (…I think? It’s been a long time since I read that scene.)

Or whether the people who sent it would have sided with him or the Dursleys, for that matter.

In the vial: wet, planty, woody

On, wet: Blossoms. The first few moments are synesthetically amazing - a burst of light greens and brighter yellows, too distracting to focus on the smell. Once that fades, it’s still amazing, just in the intended mode - happy plants after rain, happy fresh-mown grass, trees on a bright day.

Dry: Fades into the background - it’s less amazingly happy plants releasing amazingly-happy-plant pheromones, and more just the sensation of being in a forest somewhere. That’s still very nice, though. 5/5.

In the vial: Juicy tart apple and hot spices.

On, wet: Not much change, but there’s an odd hint of bubblegum base underneath the apple spice.

Dry: The apple fades just slightly, but it’s basically the same.

This is definitely a fire-element scent - I don’t know what those spices are, but they’re definitely that. (Caraway and incense smoke, according to the notes.) I don’t usually like fire scents, but for some reason I do really like this one - even if I don’t ever wear it out in public (it’s not really Ade-ish), it’ll be nice to have around just to wear for myself. 4/5.

josiahd:

I remember about 15 years ago, when I was in queer space a lot…

People started adding A to LGBT. And It meant allies, then. No one in spaces I was in ever used it to mean anything other than allies.

But now, it’s considered bad to do that? Since allies are, well, straight, and don’t belong in the acronym about being not-straight?

It probably depends on what the speaker is trying to say - ‘us, people who are working for queer rights’ vs ‘us, people who are queer’.

I do seem to run into A for asexual more often than for ally, these days, and neither seems to be very common.

lullabydust:

it’s not okay to make racist/sexist/ableist/homophobic statements on the excuse that “it’s just a joke”

to simplify that:

bullying someone does not become okay when others laugh about it.